A nerve-wrecking week has passed. Worst nighmares had become true. Our coffee machine was broken.
As you may be able to tell by interpreting this highly complex chart from American Scientific there is a close relationship between productivity and coffee. Have a look at the slope in the morning and see for yourself how coffee verifiably increases the incline. Also, lunchbreak is but a light dent and in the afternoon productivity stays high.
Today, our new coffee machine was shipped, installed and coffee was immediately implemented. All is well now. No-one had to die. We are all thankful we survived this terrible time.